Beginning Again

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” - Isaiah 40:31

Beginning Again: What Recovery Is Teaching Me About Strength

Some seasons stretch you.

Others ask you to reach for everything you know about faith, strength, grace, resilience, and taking care of yourself—and actually live it.

The last several years have been that kind of season for me.

I was first diagnosed with uterine fibroids around 2014. What sounded like a straightforward diagnosis would eventually become a much longer journey—countless tests and theories, many procedures including two myomectomies, fertility challenges, and several emergency surgeries.

Before Serenity, I experienced an ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery and the removal of one of my fallopian tubes. After a long journey to become pregnant again, I conceived Serenity.

There are 18 years between my girls.

Both of my girls are miracles, especially Serenity.

Even her entrance into the world reflected just how extraordinary that journey had been. I went into labor during a historic Buffalo snowstorm, endured 14 days of labor, and eventually delivered Serenity two months early by emergency C-section. Soon afterward, complications led to another emergency surgery and a wound that required a wound vac and a lengthy recovery.

But God.

There was so much happening at once—and yet life did not stop around me.

Through all of it, life kept moving. I was still a mother, still working, still serving, still carrying responsibilities, and still trying to remain excellent in a military career that requires physical readiness.

And underneath all of that, my body had been through an extraordinary amount.

Movement Has Always Meant More to Me 🧘🏾‍♀️

Working out has never been only about body goals for me.

Movement has always been one of the ways I clear my head, relieve stress, challenge myself, and reconnect with who I am.

I am a former athlete, and I am incredibly grateful for the natural ability I had. But when I look back now, I also know I often worked harder instead of smarter.

That is not the version of myself I am trying to return to.

I do not want to recreate who I was at 20.

I want to take everything I have learned since then—about my body, my health, recovery, mindfulness, strength, discipline, and grace—and keep moving forward with more wisdom.

Being physically restricted at different points in my life was difficult because movement was one of the ways I cared for myself.

But those seasons also taught me how to adapt.

That journey led me to yoga more than a decade ago and eventually to meditation and mindfulness.

And something I already believed became even clearer:

Movement can meet us where we are without leaving us there.

We can honor our current capacity and still work toward something.

We can modify and still progress.

We can recover and still have goals.

We can slow down without giving up.

That understanding has become even more meaningful in this newest chapter.

Another Chapter With Fibroids

This summer, I underwent uterine fibroid embolization (UFE), a procedure that blocks blood flow to fibroids so they can shrink over time.

So far, I am grateful for how things are going.

But recovery is still unfolding. My body is still healing, and once again I am practicing what I know: listening, adjusting, being patient, and allowing strength to take more than one form.

“Strength is not always about pushing harder. Sometimes strength is knowing when to slow down, listen, and allow yourself to heal. I’m learning to embrace being soft & strong.”

For me right now, movement has meant rebuilding.

Walking.

Strengthening gradually.

Reconnecting with my core.

Stretching.

Breathing.

Resting when needed.

Moving throughout my day instead of only counting a completed formal workout.

Because movement is more than a workout.

Movement is a lifestyle.

And that is something I want other women to understand too.

There may be seasons when you train hard and chase a big goal. There may be seasons when you are rebuilding after surgery, having a baby, navigating burnout, managing motherhood and work, or simply realizing that the traditional gym has never really been your thing.

The question is not whether movement still matters.

The question is:

What does movement need to look like for me in this season?

Beginning Again 💗

Beginning again does not mean going backward.

I am not chasing an old body, an old routine, or an old version of myself.

I am building from everything I know now.

With more wisdom.

More intention.

More grace.

And still with goals.

I believe God has carried me through every season that brought me here—through uncertainty, motherhood, infertility, surgeries, recovery, and moments when the outcome I prayed for seemed impossible.

And I believe He is still working now.

So I am rebuilding.

Slowly when necessary.

Boldly when I am ready.

Soft & strong.

I am not trying to become who I used to be.

I am confident that who I am becoming will be the best version of me yet.

And if you are beginning again too, I hope you remember this:

You are allowed to meet yourself where you are and still believe deeply in where you are going.

Rest.

Recover.

Rebuild.

Glow.

And trust that God is still at work in the becoming.

Keep glowing, love. ✨